My colleague Bob Mehr probably won his Sopranos bet (dead Tony) by default of David Chase’s laziness (though I’ve since decided that I like the entire episode). We’ve since switched our topic of discussion to the latest ultra-pathetic example of the faux-everything campaign supported by what some people consider the “underground.â€Â

Please, if you find Dan Deacon to be entertaining or original, please post a comment or two in his defense.

Subject: Double D. Baby

It matters little whether or not you follow or care about golf, as we’ve got a hell of a party brewing over here with Memphis’ favorite fat-boy, sand-trap barfer. Our trash comes wrapped up special!!

(from the Commercial Appeal)

Coverup alleged by wife of Daly

Sherrie Daly

John Daly as he appeared Friday at the Stanford St. Jude Championships.

She claims assault, says scratches self-inflicted 

By Lawrence Buser 
June 12, 2007

Golfer John Daly scratched his own face last week to cover up his sexual assault of his wife and then falsely reported that she attacked him with a knife, Sherrie Daly said in court papers filed Monday.

The popular and controversial Daly showed up for his Friday round at the Stanford St. Jude Championship at TPC Southwind sporting long red scratches on both cheeks which he blamed on a domestic assault by his wife.

No criminal charges were filed, but Daly, 41, sought a protective order against her to prohibit any contact with him or their 3-year-old son. He also refiled an earlier petition for divorce.

On Monday, Sherrie Daly fired back, seeking a restraining order, exclusive use and possession of the Southwind home, temporary custody of their child and continued financial support. She said Daly gives her a monthly cash allowance ranging from $15,000 to $30,000.

She also gave a different account of how her husband ended up with claw marks on his face.

She said Daly “spun out of controlâ€Â during heavy drinking last Thursday, verbally assaulting a security guard at Southwind and breaking the security gate to get to their home on Windgarden.

She said she went to a neighbor’s house because he was screaming and cursing and that he later called her from the East End Grill at Winchester and Hacks Cross Road.

Sherrie Daly, 31, said she went to the restaurant to bring him home and “became involved in a minor altercation with (Daly) and his ‘groupies,’â€Â who she said she scolded for encouraging him to drink alcohol.

She said that in the early morning hours Friday, she was awakened by a drunken Daly making sexually offensive gestures and remarks.

She said he then sexually assaulted her, causing unspecified injuries. She said she called 911 and then took their son and her 8-year-old son by a previous relationship to a neighbor’s house.

“Mother would show that Father inflicted injury upon himself by scratching his face,â€Â Sherrie Daly said in the Circuit Court petition. “Father accused Mother of attacking him with a knife and stabbing him in an attempt to cover up his sexual assault of Mother.â€Â

Reached Monday, John Daly said, “It’s just not true, Bub. It’s just not true. That’s all I can say.â€Â

Asked if he planned to file criminal charges, he said, “Let’s just go with that. Nah. It’s just not true. She did what she did, and that’s all I can say right now.â€Â

Sherrie Daly’s attorney, Rachael Putnam, would not comment other than to say it’s a personal matter and her client’s greatest concern is her children.

Sherrie Daly said in court papers her husband’s erratic and violent behavior is emotionally damaging to the children and that he could live in their Arkansas residence or in the tour bus in which they travel to golf tournaments.

She also said his paranoid and aggressive behavior stemming from abuse of alcohol and diet pills has resulted in damage to their personal property that “easily exceedsâ€Â $1 million.

In addition to a protective order, Daly also is seeking the Southwind home and temporary custody of their son and his wife’s 8-year-old son from a previous relationship.

He notes in his petition that she is a convicted felon who served five months in prison last year for money laundering in a case unrelated to her husband or golf.

According to a sheriff’s report on last week’s incident, Daly told deputies he went to bed to avoid further conflict with his wife, but that he was awakened by an intoxicated Sherrie Daly, who he said stabbed and cut his face with a silver steak knife.

She shouted, “I will kill you, you piece of (expletive,)â€Â the report said. The report said Daly replied, “Go ahead and kill me.â€Â

Officers said there was blood on Daly’s shirt, but they could not find his wife or the knife used in the attack.

He said his wife is guilty of inappropriate marital conduct and that there are irreconcilable differences.

John and Sherrie Daly were married July 29, 2001, in Las Vegas, seven weeks after they met at a golf tournament. It was her first marriage and Daly’s fourth.

They both filed for divorce last October, but attempted to reconcile, according to her petition, after Daly promised to stop abusing whiskey, gambling and carousing with other women.

In her petition Monday, Sherrie Daly said her husband has continued to abuse alcohol and that he is addicted to gambling and sex.

She said that in January while they were traveling in San Diego, Daly became drunk on vodka and became so enraged at her that he pulled “a large portion of hair from her head while throwing her head against the wall.â€Â She said he also tore her shirt and bra and broke a telephone, all in the presence of her son.

Sherrie Daly said her husband continued to drink when they traveled to Arizona and that he had to be taken by ambulance to an emergency room after blacking out from alcohol.

She said that in May she fled with the children from their Arkansas residence when Daly went on an early morning “drunken rage.â€Â

She said they returned to the Southwind residence where they remained until Daly returned for last week’s tournament.

– Lawrence Buser

Visiting family…tomorrow morning until Sunday morning. Internet access is iffy in Tennessee’s Cumberland Plateau. Not that you’d want to read about my boring hikes, fishing failures, used book runs, C.S.I. Miami/Vegas debates, thrifting mistakes, or Wheel of Fortune races with my aunt.

A one and only return of my once ignored series of posts, The TV Report. I don’t even remember if that’s the correct name!!

AMCTV is rocking The Verdict tonight, the first and only powerhouse pairing of Lumet and Mamet. “There are no other cases, this is the case.â€Â HBO+ has made the wise choice of Brick, one of last year’s pleasant surprises (as long as you got the joke). Somebody at one of the Max’s is laughing their arses off as they subject four people to Freejack. Sample dialogue…Jagger: “He’s a Freejack!!!â€Â And I must admit, Will Ferrell and Sasha Baron Cohen’s exchange on the MTV movie awards was pretty damned funny (aside from the actual kissing part, which was stupid). “You’ve been busy with Napoleon Dynamite’s crotch in your face?â€Â (whatever that means) Oh, and good to see Aziz getting some in-between work there. Actually, no, it’s not. Another meaningless Max side channel made up for the Freejack mistake with a showing of Dog Day Afternoon. If you’re ever in the mood for a pathetic ya-ha, check out the 4+ year-old movies available on Max On-Demand. Enact Action was worth someone’s time for the excellent Stander; hope you saw it, and Marked for Death seems to come on Encore every four hours.

My conclusion re: The Sopranos finale: David Chase simply had no idea how to end things.

Thanks for the cocktease. I will say that the last scene scored its desired reaction in making me incredibly nervous. The palms were sweaty.

What’s the point? It’s everything you’ve read. Human, funny, and armed with an appeal for everyone…dirt dumb to smart (that’s the big feat). Pedestrian jokes, good jokes, great jokes, gross jokes, and some fantastic arguments. You’re supposed to hate the married sister, and boy did I, ugh, just broadsided by the realism of that character. Somebody did their research. Ha! I kid. No research needed, just find that irritating voice over there, complaining to the Whole Foods manager, or yelling at a Texas de Brazil waiter, or talking about taking fourteen Pilates classes in one day.  

Over in the world of FUN, a title isn’t the only thing Slither rips from Cronenburg’s Shivers. What a romp!!

In order to convince my readers of Harsh Times‘ HILARITY value, I’ve grabbed some YouTube proof. The extra-ridiculous dialogue was hard to find (Christian Bale and Freddy Rodriguez chewing up the scenery with faux-cholo, decade-old street slang), but these present the basic idea. Enjoy.

Get a load of this.

…then this.

Wow.

Good gravy.

…..I’ve got more.  (someone beat me to this one)

As stated before, I’ve created the perfect 3.5 hours of entertainment: Assassination Tango/Harsh Times double feature. I will subject colleagues Bob Mehr and David Dunlap Jr. to the gauntlet.

 

 

 

A little over a year ago I had the Showtime channel. It filled a void. The straight-to-VHS/DVD crime genre, roughly post Pulp Fiction to present day, entertains me to a troubling end. On-Demand is my current, and slightly costlier, way to deal with the separation anxiety. See last night’s Smokin’ Aces post. Today, in tidy portions, I consumed Harsh Times. This movie is unbelievable. Bob Mehr and I are planning a double feature with Assassination Tango. Both are essential to the quest for ultimate entertainment via very poor Hollywood decisions. I need to let the former sink in for a day or so. A more detailed post is forthcoming. Beats Dirty for hilariously misguided Training Day rips.

I just pried myself from bed to the horrifying memory of giving Smokin’ Aces a favorable shout-out. I’m not even going to honor it with italics. Waddupwiddat?

That Marilyn Manson review must have been really bad.

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Thing is, this guy is further from the target than most of the review’s immediate comments.

Need I spell it out?

Yes, 14-year-olds listen to Marilyn Manson. Yes, in terms of fan demographic (and intellect), I see little diffference between a Limp Bizkit fan and a Cradle of Filth fan, though I UNDERSTAND THAT THEY SOUND NOTHING ALIKE. Tip ‘O the visor to your meth-tooting, Oxycontin-addicted, pregnant-at-19, married-at-20, ground-effects-hanging-lopsided-on-the-Eclipse ASSES!! No, the aforementioned doesn’t make up the buying majority for T. Rex reissues.

Otherwise, yes, that review could have been better.

I’m twenty minutes into an On-Demanded Smokin’ Aces. Imagine It’s A Mad Mad Mad Mad World or Andy Breckman’s Rat Race (or Hot to Trot) done up post-post-post-post 90’s Tarantino dumb-dumb don’t-blink implausible you get the drill, seen the drill, can write the drill in your sleep….with one catch: IT’S TOTALLY WORTH IT!!! By the time that last word was written, I was 70 minutes in. Want more numbers? At least 50 different wagers could be made during this film. They die here, they die there, and most are legitimate surprises. Sort of seat ‘o the pants, I must admit.

Yes, I liked Narc (same director, my reader(s), a Mr. Joe Carnahan). He’ll be sitting in the same chair for the adaptation of Killing Pablo, and yes, I read Mark Bowden.

P.S. It has a bad ending.