Category: Andrew Earles

I was just kidding around re: promo releases. Believe it or not, I listen to each and every promotional CD that enters my PO Box. They’re all gold. It’s us against them. Our little war. Gear up, we’re taking on every last editor!!

I heard nice things about Cormac McCarthy’s Oprah interview. No YouTube yet. As for elderly writers, if you want to see one leave his dignity at home, look for Tom Wolfe’s short interview on Real Time with Bill Maher. “Out of Touchâ€Â doesn’t even begin to explain…

 

Here’s my review of the new Marilyn Manson album. It also ran in the print version. Did I use the word “keyâ€Â twice? Work that craft, Earles.

For the two readers that flipped through an issue of Harp looking for my feature on Scharpling and Wurster (w/ seminal comedy duo’s throughout history…or something….sidebar), that will run in the September “Comedyâ€Â issue.

Hey you, look at the crap that came in the mail today.

ITEM! Neil Hamburger’s The World’s Funnyman DVD. Alright, alright, alright already….he’s performing here soon, I’m writing something about it, he wrote a forward for the forthcoming Just Farr A Laugh booklet, and this makes a total of three copies of this thing that sit in my office. If you haven’t seen his appearance on Fox Red Eye, well, now you have (scroll down to the “on demandâ€Â section).

ITEM! The brand new CD by The Sharp Things. On Bar/None and sporting four hundred members. The band photo on the back cover DOES NOT look promising. Guess what? I’ll never listen to this. Don’t put “possibly the only symphonic pop band in their native city of New Yorkâ€Â in your promo one sheet.

ITEM! The brand new CD by Turzi. On Kemado. More horrible album art. I might listen to this. Eh, probably not.

ITEM! The brand new CD by Joe Shithead Keithley and his Band of Rebels. Dropped the ‘y’ I see, but continued to make music. The ‘a’ in “bandâ€Â is an anarchy symbol. There’s a handy notice on the cover stating “from D.O.A.â€Â This hurts my feelings.

ITEM! The brand new album by Fourth of July. More horrible cover art. Promo one-sheet uses the word “breezy.â€Â I’ll never listen to this.

ITEM! BEST FOR LAST! The brand new album by Finnish femme Astrid Swan. Promo one-sheet cites Kate Bush, Peter and the Wolf, and Elliott Smith. Thanks for the warning. In the box you go!!!

A NOTE TO PUBLICISTS:

My new and constant e-mail response to publicists is as follows: “I need a promo of your label’s entire discography, or promos of every single artist that you represent. Yesterday!!â€Â

But don’t push it. I have a $20 bet with Bob Mehr re: Tony’s death. Bob made a rather confident “oh yeah, Tony’s going to die, without a doubtâ€Â proclamation Friday night as we were out celebrating nothing in particular. I hit him square in the face with a wager. Tony is going to live. Bobby’s absurdly macro death scene is growing on me – he had to go out that way. Dave Dunlap Jr. said, “at least there wasn’t a Chesterfield Kings factory cassette playing as Silvio was shot.â€Â Good point. The writer’s hatred of housewives (or women in general) reached a hilarious peak with more of Carmela’s whiny issues. Part of your comfy lifestyle, hon. Stop asking irritating questions. Sure hope those little real estate hobbies pan out. TONY WILL PREVAIL!!!

My amateur, minimal yet so far flourishing gardening attempt this year will yield the much despised jumbo tomatoes, cantaloupe, sweet, hot, and jalapeno peppers, plus dill. Joining my houseplants are marigolds, a massive lily, petunias, and a shade flower that I can’t ID. Everything is in pots. I suck that much. If successful, the fruits and veggies will be given away to my enemies as tasty peace pipes.

After reading this, you’ll want to slap the living shit out of me!! Show me the Failed Pilot reader that can step to my look!! I’m bringing the Moc-Toe back (to moderately-sized cities). Though I eschew flashiness, Hipster Action Figure clothing, try to embrace subtlety and “basicsâ€Â, rocking a style that Jeffrey Jensen likes to call “Math Rock Bass Playerâ€Â (a joke that might have made sense in 1995), I have taken it upon myself to explode the love of the bird hunting boot. My daily pair was manufactured by Browning, has ten eyelets, and hugs my dogs in dark brown kangeroo leather. Oh my, look who’s here!! I wear 31/30 or 30/30 Levi’s 517’s (two pairs black, two blue) every single day….turned up a little at the cuffs….or not at all. I’m easy!! The doctor is in……….saaaaaaaaaaaaaaane!!! My favorite t-shirt is the gray 50/50 American Apparel track shirt (I own three), I like the Memphass inoffensive boogie/proto-power pop of Zuider Zee and the comfort of my original tee promoting their only Columbia Records release, and lastly, I’m looking for ABA repro caps for The Memphis Tams, The Memphis Sounds, and/or The Memphis Pros. Get in touch!! I’m a 7 1/8. I’m pretty easy to pick from a crowd. I alternate between two pairs of sunglasses. One pair was made from frames purchased in Manhattan last year (and finished up in an Ike’s optical department), and my primaries are Oliver Peoples tortoise shell quasi-Wayfarer style. I switch out the buckle (owned since 1995) between brown (boutique) and black (Levi’s) belts, depending on my color of shoes. Did I mention my watch geekdom? I love watches!! Too bad watches cost so much money!! Smash and grab!! For swimming, fishing, hiking and general outdoor messiness, I wear a Casio diver’s watch (purchased from Target 4 years ago). For more “urbanâ€Â affairs, I wear a Zodiac (a Sea Dragon with a white face) that was a wonderful gift from my girlfriend. I wear white socks from Target. I own a black, light brown/tan, and a Seer Sucker Suit.

I remain entertained by the first 15 minutes of Maximum Overdrive, and the entirety of Sharky’s Machine, even though certain Adult Swim writers are busy neutralizing the Reynolds/Hal Needham aesthetic of the latter. I watched both last night.

Long ago, Jeff and I recorded several calls to tanning salons in which we tried to coerce the recipients into allowing our 18-month-old daughter into a tanning bed.

…but this is another reason that I’ll be living in the middle of nowhere by my 40th birthday. (a good stretch from now, thank you)

Thanks, Bob Mehr.

The Ford’s are Tennessee’s Kennedy’s…sort of. Or not at all. You get the pic.

Ophelia has hit bottom and crashed through. She’s no longer all that read-able. First, there was the aborted rescue mission. Now (or yesterday), there appeared this odd little space-filler. I didn’t see a tipping per-diem.

 Good gravy, has it been four days? My 200 readers must be fuming. No concrete reason for me to be here, really, other than apologizing for poor content as of late, those impulsive attacks on the idiots and assholes that raise my ire and transform my writing into child’s play. I know better than that.

 This weekend: Skipped town with Candace at the last minute. Hiking, fishing, and much work completed. More on this later – it will take a day or so for the pertinent post to surface (WORTH IT…..STICK AROUND!!!)

 David Dunlap Jr. would like credit for introducing me to Grandma’s Boy, and he can have it. “I like a movie that knows what it is.â€Â

 Thursday night, I’ll be interviewing Jim Dandy Mangrum of Black Oak Arkansas re: the Rhino Handmade Reissue of 1973’s Raunch ‘N’ Roll, an album that was absorbed disc 1 to disc 2, point A to point Z, during the drive back to Memphis on the less-than-scenic HWY 51. Once completed and published, I will post a link to the interview (Memphis Flyer).

 Until I return, here’s Jeffrey Jensen ghost-writing record reviews as RTX/Royal Trux’s Jennifer Herrema. Amazingly, these may have surfaced in a book. Brilliant stuff.

 

1.      Glen Fry-Strange Weather   MCA 1993 Throughout my career much has been made of my association and usage of illegal drugs. This largely exaggerated reputation has preceded and effected the critical reaction to every single step of my musical development. It used to really bother me but now I’ve just learned to live with it. One thing that practically no one knows is that years after my rehabilitation I encountered a drug that had a vastly more profound effect on my approach of music. PCP. In 1998 I was rummaging through a box of cassettes in the glove compartment of my stepfather’s Pontiac Fiero. I found the Glen Fry record Strange Weather on a factory cassette and thought I’d put it on for a lark. When I opened up the J-card (to read the lyrics) all of this white powder spilled out. I thought it was coke. It wasn’t coke. Right as the dust kicked in, the tune Part of Me, Part of You was reaching its climax. Previously, I’d thought all of that nonsense about being able to “find god through rockâ€Â was just empty promises from dried up hippies. I immediately had an amazing series of hallucinations all involving Danny Devito, Rhea Pearlman and this talking caterpillar (no shit). Words cannot describe, but this odyssey was PERFECTLY choreographed to these recordings. It was god!! I just sat there listening to this tape over and over again in the front seat of the Fiero until I finally came down.  Say what you will about Disraeli Gears, but I consider this cassette the ultimate “Drug Recordâ€Â and challenge anyone to prove me wrong.
 

2.      Jerry Lewis-Just Sings   Decca 1957 A lot of people consider Bob Dylan to be the absolute being and most important voice of American music. Other critics bow to different totems (see Robert Christgau’s essay about James Brown, Fela, and Billy Ocean as the essential African triumvirate) For me; the only man that I can put equal to god (musically speaking) is Jerry Lewis.
 

3.      Jonny Lang- Brakin’ Me [Cassette Single] Interscope (2000) Blues is a weird genre for me. It’s so varied that I have a hard time figuring out what’s good. In the 90’s a lot of my contemporaries (Jon Spencer, Ian Sevonius etc…) were looking to older black men for inspiration in “finding the blues.â€Â That route seemed so obvious to me. John Lee Hooker and Robert Johnson never spoke to me. It was all too old…too black. I looked elsewhere and found a strain of blues I consider far more soulful and pure: “NAMBLA Blues.â€Â Picking between the giants of this genre (Kenny Wayne Shepherd, Jonny Lang, Chris Duarte, Ralph Macchio and J. Evan Bonifant-who portrayed Buster Blues in Blues Brothers 2000) is like picking between siblings. But I would nominate this blues cassette-single as a great place to start.
 

4.      Joe Pesci- Vincent Laguardia Gambini Sings Just for You 1998  Sony Being an east-coast girl, it’s been very hard for me to relate to the “mellow vibesâ€Â of California. A lot of critics have pointed to Springsteen, Sinatra or Grandmaster Flash to musically convey the grit and intensity that is the east-coast urban experience. Whenever anyone asks me what it’s really like to live in a big cold city near the Atlantic, I invariably dub him or her a cassette copy of this record. It has ballads, rock anthems and even hip-hop. It’s perfect.
 

5.      Iggy Pop-Brick by Brick  1990 Virgin Most of the readers of this book are probably more than familiar with (maybe even sick of) the work of Iggy Pop. Called by many the Godfather of Punk for good reason…he makes musical offers that you can’t refuse. 1996’s Naughty Little Doggie taught us that this 71-year old bad boy could still deliver the bare-knuckled hard rock that made him famous. The brilliant Avenue B from 1999 displayed a more introspective Croce-esque (though shirtless and clean shaven) singer-songwriter. All are classics, but I really prefer his older stuff. That’s why I always find myself reaching for my Brick by Brick cassette (one of his first and best), which contains the infectious track, “Butt Town.â€Â
 

6.      Ned’s Atomic Dustbin- One More No More (Live) Gig Records 2001 It’s well known that “The Truxâ€Â loved all of the rave bands that came out of Britain in the early 90’s. Ned’s was our favorite. This was a long-awaited live reunion album from 2001. They hand in serviceable renditions of “Stuckâ€Â and “Happyâ€Â as well as other classics. As an update, the album title proved to be false advertising — Ned’s Atomic Dustbin played many subsequent reunion shows after this one. I should know…I attended every one.
 

7.      Ryan Adams-Heartbreaker  Bloodshot 2000 In one review, a critic called one of my performances “postured,â€Â “affected,â€Â and “lacking any soul whatsoever.â€Â I was so naïve I didn’t really know anything about those terms. I set out to find the true masters of these musical forms.  That’s how I discovered Ryan Adams.
 

8.      The Jewish- Fantasy Stalker (unreleased) 2006 This is by far the most important band of the new millennium. The Jewish, (whose recordings can only currently be heard on MySpace) are fronted by visionaries Jeffrey Jensen and Douglas Pressman AKA the Lennon and McCartney of my generation. I’m going to see that their first recordings are released on Drag City, even if I have to physically threaten Dan Koretsky (sic?).
 

9.      Guadalcanal Diary, Let’s Active, Fetchin’ Bones, Drivin’ n’ Cryin’,  Scruffy The Cat, The BoDeans, the Del Fuegos, Los Lobos I Love mediocre college rock from the mid-80’s! I’m not too cool to admit that I used to mousse my hair and wear bolo ties with my paisley shirts. If I ran across a time machine, this is the era I would travel back to. Any one of these bands will change your life.
 

10.  The Velvet Underground- The Velvet Underground and Nico  Verve 1967 What more can be said about this seminal cassette that hasn’t already been covered ad nauseam in the pages of every pretentious/expensive magazine, rock history book and unnecessary compendium of record reviews? I can’t say. I’ve honestly never heard it. Seriously. My stepsister taped over it with The Red Hot Chili Peppers’ Uplift Mofo Party Plan, which is a pretty cool tape.
 

 

 

 

 

 

(8th worst album cover of the 90’s)

Shoegazer. Brit-Pop. Indie-Rock. Retro Nonsense. Their respective asses are served by The Boo Radley’s Giant Steps (1993). A subtle job on white-boy dub years before that was cool, a better noise pop than Mercury Rev, driven into nothingness by Creation’s coke-drenched negligence (1), and followed by lesser albums (2), this (true) song-cycle sounds like several bands heralded yesterday (literally, May 25) on Sirius’ sad “Left of Centerâ€Â channel (that’s a compliment). Head to your nearest cut-out bin and drop that four dollars!! Better yet, steal it from the internet!!!

1. I could be wrong here. It’s been years since I’ve read My Magpie Eyes Are Hungry For The Prize: The Creation Records Story (and I recently lent it out…please remind me to get this book back…another copy will not be found for a reasonable price), so the reason lurks somewhere in an unreachable part of my noggin.

2. The next two, Wake Up! and C’mon Kids are oooooooooh keeeeeeey. ’92’s Everything’s Alright Forever is a pretty strong, by-the-numbers shoegaze album that beats most of the usual MBV farts.