Unrelated Items

Let’s Go To Prison – For a crappy little comedy (see Grandma’s Boy), IT DELIVERS THE LAUGHS (see Grandma’s Boy)!!! Most are had during the first 15 or 20 minutes, and most are better than average, crude one-liners. Crude always gets me. 

Alpha Dog – Much better than I had imagined, but that’s coming from a true crime fanatic that lazily followed the real case while it was in and out of the news and read most of the post-incident features in the big mags (and books – see Scary Monsters and Super Freaks…sort of the Best American Crime Writing for the entertainment biz). I loathe to admit it, but Jay Tim can actually act and does a great job in his role…not that playing a shit-talking wanna-be gangsta is that far from his “training.â€Â This is the movie that Bully tried to be; a harrowing picture of morally deficient, rich, white yo-kids in their early 20’s that get away with almost everything they attempt. 

VitaminWater “Formula 50″ – Taste like the Kool-Aid of childhood. My fave VW flavor, besides the green tea (which rarely available in my parts). I’m a consummate bev-head, now buying several stupid brands on a regular basis. I even purchased a Mountain Dew “Big Rigâ€Â energy drink today. It heftier than a tall boy, and packed about 300 more mg of caffeine than I normally injest on a daily basis. I make a lot of unwise decisions. Even after .50 Cent sold his investment in VitaminWater for a gazillion dollars, they still print this on the side of the bottle (grammatical errors are left intact): “inspired by today’s most talked about artist, hottest record producer and talked about movie star, this ‘not-so-hypnotic’ tonic contains (hint hint) 50 (per) cent of many of the important vitamins that you need every day….however, unlike mister fifty (or ‘fiddy’ as the kids say), this drink does not contain talent, a seven-figure recording deal, platinum jewelry, a big entourage or a bulletproof vestâ€ÂÂ 

Skunk Magazine (subhead: “stinkin’ it to the manâ€Â) – You can go here for a better explanation of this impulse gift from a friend. I do not indulge in the diggity dank, but every HI-larious aspect of the culture can be found here. Makes High Times seem like AARP. In my issue, features include : Trailer Park Girls Gone Wild, Clitoraid, Erbo Pipe, Hell Froze My Grow, and an interview with L.A.’s ‘dopest’ attorney, Allison Margolin. Not giggling yet? Check out the contributing writers in the masthead: Bud Vila, Freddy Watso, Dumbass Dirt Farmer, Rex Bones, Mary Jane Green, Mother Shabubu, Trippy MacShroom, Professor Smokeface, Sparky, Dr. Pot, The Rev, and the ominous Jeffrey Steinborn.